My mom sent me this poem as a forward in my e-mail. I never thought of myself as a woman who compared herself with others in the ward or felt like I had to do things "perfectly." But as I read this poem, I found myself thinking "well, I do that" or "I do that most of the time." And realized how much it really was like me. I think sometimes we hear so much about striving for perfection that we don't realize it isn't possible in this life. We need to do our best and when we are doing that, it is enough! I hope everyone enjoys this whether they are LDS or not.
-Jessie
Mormon Women:
If you, or someone you know has ever felt overwhelmed by all they feel they need to do, Vickie Gunther of Redlands , California , wrote a hilarious poem, Dr. Seuss style, about how much LDS women try to take on. David B. Marsh used it at Women's Conference, and Vickie has given permission to share it.
The Girl in a Whirl by 'Dr. Sue' (a.k. A.. Vickie Gunther)
Look at me, look at me, look at me now!
You could do what I do if you only knew how.
I study the scriptures one hour each day;
I bake, I upholster, I scrub, and I pray.
I always keep all the commandments completely;
I speak to my little ones gently and sweetly.
I help in their classrooms! I sew all they wear!
I drive them to practice! I cut all their hair!
I memorize names of the General Authorities;
I focus on things to be done by priorities.
I play the piano! I bless with my talents!
My toilets all sparkle! My checkbooks all balance!
Each week every child gets a one-on-one date;
I attend all my meetings (on time! Never late!)
I'm taking a class on the teachings of Paul,
But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all,
I track my bad habits 'til each is abolished;
Our t-shirts are ironed! My toenails are polished!
Our family home evenings are always delightful;
The lessons I give are both fun and insightful.
I do genealogy faithfully, too.
It's easy to do a! ll the t hings that I do!
I rise each day early, refreshed and awake;
I know all the names of each youth in my stake!
I read to my children! I help all my neighbors!
I bless the community, too, with my labors.
I exercise and I cook menus gourmet;
My visiting teaching is done the first day!
(I also go do it for someone who missed hers.It's the least I can do for my cherished ward sisters.)
I chart resolutions and check off each goal;
I seek each "lost lamb" on my Primary roll.
I can home-grown produce each summer and fall.
But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all,
I write in my journal! I sing in the choir!
Each day, I write "thank you's" to those I admire.
My sons were all Eagles when they were fourteen!
My kids get straight A's! And their bedrooms are clean!
I have a home business to help make some money;
I always look beautif ully groomed for my honey.
I go to the temple at least once a week;
I change the car's tires! I fix the sink's leak!
I grind my own wheat and I bake all our bread;
I have all our meals planned out six months ahead.
I make sure I rotate our two-years' supply;
My shopping for Christmas is done by July!
These things are not hard; 'tis good if you do them;
You can if you try! Just set goals and pursue them!
It's easy to do all the things that I do!
If you plan and work smart, you can do them all, too!
It's easy!" she said and then she dropped dead.
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WOMEN- The most creative job in the world. It involves: Taste, Fashion, Decoration, Recreation, Education, Transportation, Psychology, Romance, Cuisine, Designing, Literature, Medicine, Handicraft, Art, Harticulter, Economics, Government, Community relations, Pediatrics, Geriatrics, Entertainment, Mainteneance, Purchasing, Direct mail, Law, Accounting, Religion, Energy, And management. Anyone who can handle all those has to be somebody special. She is. She's a homemaker.
30 minutes
It Takes Only Thirty Minutes a Day
by Barbara Stockwell
A few weeks ago I read an article about the importance of studying scriptures, so I set my alarm for thirty minutes earlier every day. Then I remembered I should write in my journal every day, so I stayed up a half-hour later each night. Then last week in Relief Society we were admonished to exercise daily to keep our bodies fit, so I got up a little earlier each day to jog.Later in the week, I read a magazine article that promised me beautiful skin in only fifteen minutes a day, and another one said that a half-hour a day of meditation could change my life. A self-help book told me I should spend at least thirty minutes a day visualizing my desires and repeating positive affirmations. I had to get up earlier to do this.Still, I was able to squeeze other activities into my already heavily scheduled day. I learned to do the pelvic tilt to relieve my lower back pain while driving to work. And I did my isometric exercises while at my desk. I cut my lunch hour in half in order to read the Ensign. In only half an hour a day I was able to finish it before the next one came . . .except for the conference issue. For that I stayed up a little at night and read, after my goal planning was done. Another women's magazine said I could give myself professional nail care in only ten minutes a day. It also suggested that a foot soak after work would do wonders to relieve tiredness. I tried to do that while I was preparing dinner, but I got so relaxed I kept dropping the carrot sticks in the gravy. Dinner would have to be delayed a little, and that would push bedtime back about a half-hour. But it was all worth it; I was becoming a new woman. I learned in a class on success that the only way to make it in life is to write a "to do" list each night and then review it every morning to set priorities for the day. It only takes a few minutes and saves a lot of time in the long run. And did you know that if you spend only an extra forty-five minutes a day on housework you never have to get bogged down in spring cleaning?It is marvelous how many things can be done in such a short time, and I would feel negligent if I said I couldn't find those few minutes. After all, is a few minutes a day for all that improvement too much to ask? I can always set the alarm a little earlier.But last night as I was setting the alarm after my prayers I realized it was time to get up and jog. Maybe I should make out a new schedule---it will only take a few minutes .
Barbara Stockwell, mother of four and a social worker, teaches Relief Society lessons in her Springfield, Oregon, ward. ENSIGN/July 1982.
cookie cutter
I love Chieko Okazaki, former RS General Presidency. She spoke at a 1997 Puheesta stake women's conference when these notes were taken.
DISCOVER THE JOY
Sister Okazaki began her remarks by holding up 4 cookie cutters and asking the audience what they thought cookie cutters had to do with joy. She told us we'd come back to the cookie cutters, and she then outlined four principles from the theme scripture D&C 42:61: 1) asking, 2) revelation, 3) knowledge, and 4) mysteries & peaceable things. She said that we often get a lot of promissory notes at church--if you have Family Home Evening your kids will get along with each other; if you're obedient you'll be happy; if you work harder, do better, or do things more times, you'll be blessed. She pointed out that this scripture doesn't mention any of the myriad things we're all *should* do, but concentrated on 4 gospel basics.
Sister Okazaki said we have to ask for assistance from the Lord for two reasons: He won't violate our agency even to give us good things, and He wants to lure us into conversation with him. The first step is to ask and we shall receive--a principle reiterated often in the scriptures. She also said not to worry over prayer protocol or pronouns, just ASK She then described the two kinds of revelation we can receive: 1)revelation about the nature of God & the meaning of life (testimony) and 2) revelations that are outpourings of specific information regarding our daily lives (personal). The first we need like we need oxygen, the second like we need our daily bread; she also said we NEED to feel joy in our lives.
She then described a list of things that *should* bring us joy, and likened this to a blue plate special, saying the messages we get a church often treat us like every woman's needs are the same, one size fits all, and that we should be like everyone else. Mothers are supposed to find total joy & fulfillment in bearing and raising children; single women are supposed to find joy in preparing to marry and raise families; widows like herself are supposed to find joy in enduring to the end.
She said the problem with these messages is that they do not treat you as an individual. Praying, serving, reading scriptures, and going to the temple are good things, but these messages are not tailored to individual circumstances. She wondered if others felt as she does sometimes--that she doesn't *want* one more blue plate special, and feels like she'll gag on what someone else is trying to feed her.
She then returned to the cookie cutter analogy, saying that cookie cutters are for cookies, not for human beings, and we should not try to live someone else's life, or compare ourselves to others. She then told stories of two women. The first was about Donna Jean Holiday, mother of 10, who after moving to Salt Lake City, suffered a nervous breakdown & depression from the pressures of trying to be supermom. One day, she told her family she was going for a walk and disappeared. She left a note which described her feeling that she was impeding her family's progress and that they'd be better off without her. Last week, her body was found with a gunshot wound to the head. Sister Okazaki mourned the circumstances that would make this woman feel she was better off dead.
She then told a story of another woman who had written to her about finding herself in similar circumstances: depression, at the end of her rope, spending years struggling in joyless circumstances. She, too, thought at times that death would be a blessing. But one day, she was reading through one of Sister Okazaki's books and ran across a passage that echoed King Benjamin's statements: we would give, but we have not--that sometimes there's nothing left for us to give. When were in what Sister Okazaki called a season of depletion, it's OK to await our time of renewal without feeling guilty about our inability to give. The second sister felt like someone had really understood her and loved her, even if she was just reading words on a page.
Sister Okazaki asked what will create this atmosphere of understanding and love? Does it help to bellow cheerful advice, To tell someone to get on with their lives?
No.
She said if anyone there felt unappreciated, worthless, degraded, unloved, sad, etc. to get help from the Lord, the Relief Society president, the bishop, home teachers, family, and a therapist...
To realize you are *worth* rearranging the environment for.
You are worth rearranging society for.
Find your VOICE. Be heard.
She said sometimes we live cookie cutter lives, and there can come a time when the boundaries don't feel good anymore; that's when we need personal revelation from our Heavenly Father & Heavenly Mother. We may have discovered that we're not the right person for that particular cookie cutter, and we ought not lop off parts of ourselves to try to fit into someone else's shape.
Sister Okazaki then returned to the points from the scriptures: ask for revelation about the way the Savior wants us to live--that all we may have to go on is a tiny flicker, but to keep going. She spoke of the importance of knowledge and the mysteries of God, which she described as things we don't understand *yet*, not things that are dangerous or irrelevant to our salvation as these are often portrayed. God is anxious to explain his ways to us if we will ask. (law of attraction)
She then said that true joy comes through a firsthand, personal, intimate daily relationship with Jesus Christ--that this is the only must or should that the scriptures mention, and that in developing this relationship, we will discover joy in our lives.
"Many women feel that there is a Relief Society 'mold' that they have to fit into to be acceptable. I love the experience of Karen Lynn Davidson, a stake Relief Society President in California [teacher at a Catholic girls' school; single until 38; no children of her own]..She says- and I love this! "Paradoxically, I serve an important purpose by not fitting the traditional image..I'm a daily reminder to our stake." (97-8) 'Cat's Cradel' by Chieko Okasaki
Hi Jessie, I thought you might like these too. :)
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