I recently moved back to from Illinois and am in the process of divorce. The first thing I did was go into counseling. Some look down upon this but there was no way I was going to let this situation scar me the way I have seen it do to so many others. While talking in one of my sessions I mentioned how there was a guy a knew that I wouldn't mind going on a date with after the divorce but I said that he was way out of my league. Of course, this statement was chalked up to bad self esteem.
I went home and talked to my mom about me session. She said something so simple but little did she know that it would have such an impact. "Jessie, you put yourself on the B-list a long time ago." Wow! It hit me like a ton of bricks! I don't know if it was just the right time or phrased the right way but from that second on, I viewed myself differently.
What my mom said was true. I had put myself on the B-list along time ago and put others above me. Whether it was because I was stuck on past transgressions or because I didn't' feel as pretty as the other girls, I am not sure. But I am sure that my life has changed since I made the decision to put myself back on the A-list.
Again, this my seem very odd way to think about things since it is a way we categorize celebrities but I really feel it is a choice. If you think about the people you look at as A-list, think about what puts them on that list. I did this my and thought about the two girls growing up that I always considered A-list girls. One was always a little fuller figured and very pretty. The other was always very thin but not on the pretty side. Really, it was their personalities that made them stand out. With this in mind I set out to change the way I felt about myself and then in turn how others saw me.
At first I felt like I was playing a role. I walked with my head tall and shoulders back. I talked to people like I never had the courage to do. It is amazing how soon it didn't feel like an act anymore. Soon it was just me! So if you have seen a change in me, that is why. I put myself back on the A-list. I believe that we are all sent her has A-list people. Somewhere along the way we let others or ourselves make ourselves feel like we are less than our best. But we can get it back. It can change lives!
So I don't want this to be a "Great Job Jessie" type blog. Tell me what you think? Do you know someone who has put themselves on the B-list? What are you thoughts on getting back on the A-list? Anyone else out there have that one moment when everything changed?
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3 comments:
I know growing up I didn't always feel like I was on the "A" list. I think everyone goes through a time in their life where they measure up their weaknesses to other peoples strengths. It wasn't until I stopped worrying about what other people think about me, it just mattered what I thought about myself. Similar to the 'law of attraction' I decided that I would focus on the things in life that I wanted to happen to me and to achieve, rather than the things that I didn't have and that were not going well in my life.
I know because of this thinking I have attracted the good things into my life. I have an incredible husband and two sweet daughters and definitely consider myself to be on the A list because of the blessings I have in my life.
I really liked your blog, and I am glad that you have realized that you're an A list person, because I really think you are! I just wish I were in Richmond to hang out with you more! I think that almost everyone kind of goes through that "Am I an A list?" maybe in different words, but I think we all compare ourselves and usually put ourselves on the back burner or at the bottom of the list. Some personal info...I suffered from self esteem issues for a long time. And i put on an act in front of others, making them think I was ok and very confident in myself, when I really wasn't inside. And honestly what really got me to feel better about myself and start making steps to recover was Trent. He put me at the top of his list, always said kind things to me sincerely, and he worked with me through it, and is still working with me so I feel better about myself. I still have some esteem issues, but what you said in your blog is right on, we come here on the A list, but somewhere along the line we put ourselves on the B list. And if we work on it little by little we will gain confidence in ourselves and have the strong knowledge and courage to believe that we are A listers and never be pulled back down to the B list! You go girl!
I am so glad to hear that you are doing well and that you are letting the events of your life make you stronger instead of getting you down. It would be easy to do. I am so proud of you and Aiden will be proud to have you as a mother when she is old enough to fully appreciate things:)
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